Sunday, November 28, 2010

On The Lamp Post

I'm in an airport. There's a kid in a perfect Holden hat next to meet. My friends and I use to always look for them and they never had the right bill. It isn't safe here. I don't know how safe it will be in an air plane. It's high enough but I don't know. I just know I can't take a train. I haven't updated the past few months. I spent a lot of time trying to find a place to sleep. It's been getting cold in the city and I knew I couldn't sleep on roofs for much longer. Most of the street kids I've talked to said that they sleep in the subway during the winter. It's warm and you can just ride the trains all night. When I tried to tell them I couldn't do that they didn't have many other ideas. Like I said in my last post this made me kind of mopey and annoying and I just spent most of my energy on not getting killed and trying to figure out what to do. I had to break into a few apartments, which was really unpleasant, and I stole some girls' iphone. I didn't really do it on purpose and just meant to borrow it, but when I came back she was there waiting and I had to go. She stood up as I was leaving. She had long brown hair and wore a pink shirt and jeans. As I left she said something.

I think it was 'Wait.'

This all happened from September to October. I slept on roofs as it got colder and was only really happy when it was warm on rare days and the sun was out. My clothes are falling apart and I need a knew hoodie and a coat. I slept in libraries when they were high enough up and I could hide until they closed for the night, but it didn't feel safe so closed in. I thought a lot about going back to TN and to my house. I bet it's still there, just like I left it, things covered in dust and unused. It made me sad to think about it sitting there near the woods, all my stuff inside, my dad's computer room still as it was for all the years we left it alone, only going in when I was most sad, or upset. My mum's was still there too, but it had probably started to fall apart. She had more papers and the rats and mice had probably started to make nests in them. I thought about my brother's room, all covered in drawings he did after all this started to happened, my hand covered in charcoal after I had skimmed it across the wall before I had left. Mostly I thought about how warm it would be there.

And how dangerous.

Later in October I got a letter. It was a crumpled piece of paper that had been made into an envelope. It looked like it was written on a type writer. I didn't take a picture in time and it fell apart in my pocket. I copied down what it said:

Dear Dickens,

I heard you've met Thoreau.
They say he is a guide.
Don't believe them.
We are still on our trip.
The water is calm.
All the numbers are right.
1+1= 3

As ever,

I think it was from James.

In November I checked the blog. Evidently crazy shit was happening that fell into 3 categories:

1. Robert Sage went fucking nuts and thought he found a knife that could kill Slenderman and hid in a shed somewhere. Meanwhile there were 3 new sages (read: crazy people) who were out doing god knows what around. People expected me to go and get this knife, even though I have no idea what the fuck it's actually suppose to do. I figured this was probably bullshit since, you know, it's a fucking knife fighting an 8 foot tall guy with no face who can fucking teleport, so didn't pay this much mind.

2. The FBI or some shit is killing people. I don't know much about this, and more information would be good, but evidently people are being killed by some government agents. This doesn't sound like it makes much sense to me, but if it's happening, it's happening. This is also why safe houses are a bad idea. The truth is, no place is safe and even if Slenderman can't get you, you still have to keep your eyes open for hollowed out people and whoever these people are, as well as the people who are living on the streets near you. I talked to 1 of the guys I think in a comment and don't know I could anything back, but either way, things may not be safe. But what the fuck else is new?

3. Maybe the craziest, Zeke is taking care of kids? It looks like our good friend Danny (you may know him from comments as the happy ball of sunshine that always brightens up bad situations) is 1 of them and he's pretty busy doing that while running from the law. Seriously though if people are running in groups like this now, which it seems like they are, remember to keep them small and try to remain spread out.

A few weeks ago I talked to Shaun and he said he was in Chicago and asked if we should meet up. He was going to be staying with somebody and it was time for us to get together. I said I would think about it. I walked around the next few weeks, cold and wondering what the hell I would do and where I would go and if I was going to have to go back to my house. Half way through that I fell asleep on the street. I sat down to figure out what was in my pockets and nodded off because it was cold. I was having the same dream I always have. My brother stares at me, sitting in a chair. I try to get up and talk to him but I can't. Then I felt something and my brother turned in his chair the way I remember he use to and it felt sharp. I woke up in the park. It was a part surrounded by trees, deep and hidden from most people. I realized I had been moved and I looked up and saw Him. I was pretty sure I was fucked when I heard a sound, or felt it I think. Like something went through the air like it does when I feel things shift. Like a scream but whatever drifts through the air that makes it heavy. A smell filled the air like blood, but not human blood, more like an animal and He stepped back slightly and stood still. I got the feeling like something was behind me, but didn't turn to look and just backed away until I was far away enough to run the fuck out of there.

I don't know what that was. I didn't stop moving from roof to roof for days after that. At this point I didn't know what the fuck to do and was asking around more and more what to do for the winter. I asked a group of street kids who lived in a park down town if they knew any good places people could stay. They said no but the they noticed the back of my hoodie. They said they had been asked if anybody with the symbol near them had been around by a few kids they said acted like junkies, and had told them to show the people who did something. I asked them to show me. They lead me up town a little ways and showed me this on a lamp post.

I realized I needed to get out of the city. I don't know who left that, or if it's even Slenderman, but I realized I needed to get away. Away from the parks, and away from the cold, and away from whoever's looking for me. I'm going to Chicago now. I'm going to meet up with Shaun. And I'm not going to find any fucking knives or fuck around with any crazy plans. We all need to focus on being safe and staying alive more then ever now. I can post more often now that I have the iphone. I'm surprised it hasn't been turned off. Ill try to answer comments from the last entry soon, maybe in another post. Leave any questions or anything in the comments and I'll try to be better at getting to them.

Now I have to go catch a plane and try not to have a panic attack. At least I get to watch TV and free snacks.

And at least I won't be on an island with a fucking park in the middle of it.

As always like I said leave questions and comments in the comments, and email if anybody needs to get in touch. Meanwhile I'm gonna try not to die in a plane crash or get attacked by Slenderman at 30,0000 feet. At least here's Wifi.

- M