Thursday, December 23, 2010

The night in the city is never quite dark enough

In Chicago. It's cold as shit here but easier to stay warm and safe. I mostly hung out in the stairwells of buildings that you can get from their roofs until I realized that the trains here are, of course, elevated and most of time safe to be on. I'm a dumb ass. Now I mostly sleep on the trains because it's warm and there's a lot of people around, or hang out in the diner near here (though today I did see Him in an alley near here which I guess means I've been here for too long and need to change areas for a little bit. I'll miss Clarke's though). This city is different then New York. Both are overwhelming I guess, if I had more then a few minutes a day to think about stuff like that, but Chicago is huge. New York is plenty big, but not as spread out. New York is more tall, with lots of people in 1 place and lots of buildings all holding different hidden, secret, old things. Chicago is just vast. I took the train from 1 end to the other and ended up in the suburbs. They look pretty false though, no trees, no people, all the houses too small to have anybody actually live there with more then 1 other person, like they weren't made for families. It's like a bunch of runners put together a neighborhood. There aren't as many findable street kids either, though I've found some. Learning where everything is is harder then I thought it would be. I'm not from a place with a large transit system (or any transit system really) and learning all the different lines and everything seems like a waste of time at best. In general I just ride the lines closest to me that I know won't go underground right away.

I know people had stuff planned for the 21st and I guess it didn't really work. Maybe He's weaker, but I don't know. He's still here and from what I've heard Zero is gone. The hero thing isn't really my thing, as I've said in the past, but when somebody is that brave and that stupid they can do something like that it usually gets them killed, but I guess it's also pretty admirable. People ask me sometimes if I'll just run and never stop running and never try to fight and I say yes until we find something else to do, something that really works. I'm not really somebody who would try to find, or even has any idea what that could be but Zero was and it's pretty sad he's gone. I will say though a few people writing stories is not going to beat Him. I'm not for staging a coupe anytime soon, we need more information and we need more planning, but when and if we do it won't be by writing stories, at least not only by doing that. It will be a battle with whatever we've found works against Him and it will be bloody and it will be unpleasant and we won't come away from it unhurt. People ask me sometimes if any weapons work against Him (if I need to talk more about this I'll do an entry on it if people want it) and I say no.



Baseball bats.

They don't work on Him. The way he moves He can avoid all that and if He was that easy to kill somebody would have done it by now. We'll have to find something else if we find something at all. He doesn't even move on this plane of existence. Something that can't even kill a human everytime isn't going to kill Him. And if it can it will be something we haven't even thought of yet.

Mostly this 21st I thought about my brother. It was his birthday. He would have been 20. I wondered what he would have thought of me if he could see me now, and what he would have thought of this whole situation, and if he would have liked the people I liked who I had met on the road and disliked all the people I disliked. I wondered what he would have thought about the Hollowed and how they probably would have made him sad and he would have wanted to help them. I sat in the little house that protects the stairwell into an apartment building who's roof I was on from the snow and stuff and looked out it's little window and watched the white snow against the hazy black of the city night and wondered what he would have thought of the city. I fell asleep and had the same dream I always have and saw him and it felt even more real, yet more unreal then it ever had for some reason, him in that chair, so solid but so obviously impossibly there. Then I woke up and the night had finished and I checked the time and knew something had shifted.

I fucking hate that dream.

Now it's 2 days until Christmas. I was never too into Christmas. It's too commercial and there are too many people around and the music gets on my nerves. Even so to anybody who can still have a normal Christmas know they're rare and to enjoy it. And to people who can't, well know that at least you're still moving, still alive, and, even if we can't beat this thing right now, still able to sit and think about the world. Know that all the people who are gone are remembered and are still alive that way. I'm not too religious, or religious at all since all this started, but I think that's how it works. People die, but I guess they live on because we think about them. In all the stories we tell about them. Maybe that's how stories can help us. Less about beating Slenderman and more about all of us living normal lives. I don't know.

Since it's the holiday season I've decided to do entries on whatever people want (within reason). Got a question? Want to hear my thoughts on something? Just tired of me bitching and want to know what colours attract Slenderman already (none really that I can tell but he seems to go after the people in grey before anybody else when in a group)? Then ask! And as always leave questions and anything else in the comments and email if you have to. Now I'm gonna go sneak into a gym and take a much needed shower (time since last shower: 2 months, 5 days, 12 hours).

- M

Monday, December 20, 2010

I guess Chicago is land locked

Not a lot of time to post right now, but I did just get a letter in my P.O. Box. All it said was:

89th street
3rd Avenue

The paper looked like it had been dropped in water.

That's around where I use to hang around in New York.

Since I'm not there anymore anybody who is mind checking it out?

- M

Sunday, November 28, 2010

On The Lamp Post

I'm in an airport. There's a kid in a perfect Holden hat next to meet. My friends and I use to always look for them and they never had the right bill. It isn't safe here. I don't know how safe it will be in an air plane. It's high enough but I don't know. I just know I can't take a train. I haven't updated the past few months. I spent a lot of time trying to find a place to sleep. It's been getting cold in the city and I knew I couldn't sleep on roofs for much longer. Most of the street kids I've talked to said that they sleep in the subway during the winter. It's warm and you can just ride the trains all night. When I tried to tell them I couldn't do that they didn't have many other ideas. Like I said in my last post this made me kind of mopey and annoying and I just spent most of my energy on not getting killed and trying to figure out what to do. I had to break into a few apartments, which was really unpleasant, and I stole some girls' iphone. I didn't really do it on purpose and just meant to borrow it, but when I came back she was there waiting and I had to go. She stood up as I was leaving. She had long brown hair and wore a pink shirt and jeans. As I left she said something.

I think it was 'Wait.'

This all happened from September to October. I slept on roofs as it got colder and was only really happy when it was warm on rare days and the sun was out. My clothes are falling apart and I need a knew hoodie and a coat. I slept in libraries when they were high enough up and I could hide until they closed for the night, but it didn't feel safe so closed in. I thought a lot about going back to TN and to my house. I bet it's still there, just like I left it, things covered in dust and unused. It made me sad to think about it sitting there near the woods, all my stuff inside, my dad's computer room still as it was for all the years we left it alone, only going in when I was most sad, or upset. My mum's was still there too, but it had probably started to fall apart. She had more papers and the rats and mice had probably started to make nests in them. I thought about my brother's room, all covered in drawings he did after all this started to happened, my hand covered in charcoal after I had skimmed it across the wall before I had left. Mostly I thought about how warm it would be there.

And how dangerous.

Later in October I got a letter. It was a crumpled piece of paper that had been made into an envelope. It looked like it was written on a type writer. I didn't take a picture in time and it fell apart in my pocket. I copied down what it said:

Dear Dickens,

I heard you've met Thoreau.
They say he is a guide.
Don't believe them.
We are still on our trip.
The water is calm.
All the numbers are right.
1+1= 3

As ever,

I think it was from James.

In November I checked the blog. Evidently crazy shit was happening that fell into 3 categories:

1. Robert Sage went fucking nuts and thought he found a knife that could kill Slenderman and hid in a shed somewhere. Meanwhile there were 3 new sages (read: crazy people) who were out doing god knows what around. People expected me to go and get this knife, even though I have no idea what the fuck it's actually suppose to do. I figured this was probably bullshit since, you know, it's a fucking knife fighting an 8 foot tall guy with no face who can fucking teleport, so didn't pay this much mind.

2. The FBI or some shit is killing people. I don't know much about this, and more information would be good, but evidently people are being killed by some government agents. This doesn't sound like it makes much sense to me, but if it's happening, it's happening. This is also why safe houses are a bad idea. The truth is, no place is safe and even if Slenderman can't get you, you still have to keep your eyes open for hollowed out people and whoever these people are, as well as the people who are living on the streets near you. I talked to 1 of the guys I think in a comment and don't know I could anything back, but either way, things may not be safe. But what the fuck else is new?

3. Maybe the craziest, Zeke is taking care of kids? It looks like our good friend Danny (you may know him from comments as the happy ball of sunshine that always brightens up bad situations) is 1 of them and he's pretty busy doing that while running from the law. Seriously though if people are running in groups like this now, which it seems like they are, remember to keep them small and try to remain spread out.

A few weeks ago I talked to Shaun and he said he was in Chicago and asked if we should meet up. He was going to be staying with somebody and it was time for us to get together. I said I would think about it. I walked around the next few weeks, cold and wondering what the hell I would do and where I would go and if I was going to have to go back to my house. Half way through that I fell asleep on the street. I sat down to figure out what was in my pockets and nodded off because it was cold. I was having the same dream I always have. My brother stares at me, sitting in a chair. I try to get up and talk to him but I can't. Then I felt something and my brother turned in his chair the way I remember he use to and it felt sharp. I woke up in the park. It was a part surrounded by trees, deep and hidden from most people. I realized I had been moved and I looked up and saw Him. I was pretty sure I was fucked when I heard a sound, or felt it I think. Like something went through the air like it does when I feel things shift. Like a scream but whatever drifts through the air that makes it heavy. A smell filled the air like blood, but not human blood, more like an animal and He stepped back slightly and stood still. I got the feeling like something was behind me, but didn't turn to look and just backed away until I was far away enough to run the fuck out of there.

I don't know what that was. I didn't stop moving from roof to roof for days after that. At this point I didn't know what the fuck to do and was asking around more and more what to do for the winter. I asked a group of street kids who lived in a park down town if they knew any good places people could stay. They said no but the they noticed the back of my hoodie. They said they had been asked if anybody with the symbol near them had been around by a few kids they said acted like junkies, and had told them to show the people who did something. I asked them to show me. They lead me up town a little ways and showed me this on a lamp post.

I realized I needed to get out of the city. I don't know who left that, or if it's even Slenderman, but I realized I needed to get away. Away from the parks, and away from the cold, and away from whoever's looking for me. I'm going to Chicago now. I'm going to meet up with Shaun. And I'm not going to find any fucking knives or fuck around with any crazy plans. We all need to focus on being safe and staying alive more then ever now. I can post more often now that I have the iphone. I'm surprised it hasn't been turned off. Ill try to answer comments from the last entry soon, maybe in another post. Leave any questions or anything in the comments and I'll try to be better at getting to them.

Now I have to go catch a plane and try not to have a panic attack. At least I get to watch TV and free snacks.

And at least I won't be on an island with a fucking park in the middle of it.

As always like I said leave questions and comments in the comments, and email if anybody needs to get in touch. Meanwhile I'm gonna try not to die in a plane crash or get attacked by Slenderman at 30,0000 feet. At least here's Wifi.

- M

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Come and get me (sounds like something a hooker would say)

Come and get me.

What the fuck does that mean?

Fuck Zeke is back maybe and I have no idea what the fuck is up. The talking in code seems pretty hollowed out to me but who knows. That code was from the ginger bread man, who gets eaten, which points to things being pretty shitty for Zeke behind that door, but then he commented on Damien's blog.

Who is dead.

I always sort of thought that Damien was probably fake but who knows. I sure as fuck don't need another story about the the horrible shit going on in my life but even so, it seems like all the people who were in the game for a long time die. I guess I've been thinking about that a lot recently. How long it really takes for people being followed by Him to die. It seems like we always do, which makes sense since it pretty hard to constantly run from a guy with no face, but still. I wondered how long I could out run Him.

I guess I got sort of depressed. It's getting cold here so I tried to find places to stay for the winter and it's been hard. Somebody told me the subway but that's not safe enough. I may have to start breaking into people's places again, but that's not as easy in New York. I really had no idea what to do and with all this I guess I was what you would call kind of mopey.

Which makes me a huge pussy.

But really who isn't after loosing over 2 people in the course of a month?

Then fucking Zeke came back. And you know what fuck that. Fuck Zeke being missing for months. Fuck giving up. Fuck being sad. Fuck the weird ass dreams I've been having. Fuck Slenderman. I started this blog to help beat this and to help people be safe and live. I'm not much a fighter. I never have been. I'm not a hero and I'm not the guy who goes out and saves the day. But there are ways to beat this. Ways to keep going. And even if that means running it's better then giving into fucking Slenderman.

Fucking Zeke. What the hell does come and get me mean? People have been saying it's a taunt but I'm not so sure. It seemed more like a request maybe. Like he wants people to help him. But then that doesn't sound much like Zeke. That's what makes me wonder if he's hollowed out. His comment seemed to make sense, but it didn't seem like him. I mean don't get me wrong, it's the same snarky asshole we all know and love, but still, not something he would really say. At the same time it doesn't seem hollowed out. The cdode seems a little weird, but the comment makes sense. And if he's not Zeke and he's not hollowed out what is he? Also I want to know what the fuck that door is. If Zeke is back we better get a good fucking explanation of what the fuck happened when he tried to shoot Slenderman. I want everything! What was he wearing, what was He wearing, what happened, what they talked about (which they didn't because Slenderman can't talk hint hint at somebody who I know is reading who's name rhythms with 'dawn'), was the door hard to open, did he see Lizzie somehow in a weird Gladiator kind of way, and most importantly, what the fuck was behind the door?

Before he left, for all his jack assery, Zeke seemed to know what he was doing. Since he's left this thing has grown. I don't know how many people are actually being followed by Slenderman, but it's a lot more then it was even a few months ago and that makes Him stronger. Something's been changing for a long time and it's reaching it's end. Something is going to happen soon. I can feel it sometimes just when I'm walking or just sitting there thinking. Something in the air will shift and it will be like somebody is behind me. I'm dreaming more then before, even more then when I started dreaming again, and they're all the same. My brother is there in a chair. He's watching me in a dark room. He's just smiling and looking at me. I try to tell him he's dead, but he just smiles and says no. Sometimes James is there too. I don't know what they mean but I feel like they mean something. They mean something like the other dreams meant something. The trees, the path with the voice leading me down it, my brother starting at me. I don't know what these mean but it seems stupid to brush them off as just dreams. I'm not going to run into a forest or anything so don't freak out at me, but still.

Something is happening, or something needs to happen. Zeke is back, I'm dreaming again, and it's getting too fucking cold to sleep outside.

No lesson for today, but I do have 3 things to leave you with. 1 is can people comment if they're being haunted by Slenderman at this time? I'd like a rough number of how many of us there are. I knew somebody who did this a few months ago and could only name about 20 or so but I think it's grown since then. 2 is tell me if you've been having any weird dreams. Again no like 'I'm a shark in the ocean and my mother is there' stuff, but like stuff that may have something to do with all this. and 3, if you're really out there, and not too much of an asshole since you went through the magic door, comment on here Zeke. Tell me if you're still you. Or just a meat puppet of somebody who use to be kind of a badass. Annoying as shit, but kind of a badass. And as always leave questions in the comments and keep the emails coming. And if it is you Zeke, I had some fucking awesome coffee today.

- M

Monday, August 16, 2010

It's not a Tardis

Haven't been able to get online much recently. He showed up every day for past 10 days or so and it's been awful and it's sort of hard to go to an Apple store when you're constantly being followed by a guy with no face. I didn't sleep much, and when I did I only dreamed about the voice of a girl and dark tunnels and trees (but not the kind that talk, the kind that attack me). I use to never dream and now I do every time I sleep in an odd sort of almost awake way. My eyes don't seem closed, but when I wake up they open and I feel like I haven't slept at all, or I've slept for so long when really it's only been an hour or 2. Luckily the past few days have been better. I saw Him less, and then haven't seen Him all day. I think I stayed in the same places too long. Now I'm in a place right next to FAO and an Apple store, so it's pretty sweet. A little busy for me, but that's ok.

In any case seeing Him constantly and having to figure out how to run made me realize I've never talked about how Slenderman moves. I've actually been asked this a few times, mostly in relation to Him moving you, and the answer is I'm not sure. Slenderman shouldn't be in our world, so it would make sense He doesn't move like us. When He moves you certainly don't move through space like you normally do, and he seems to pop up everywhere like a mother fucker but how? The answer is I'm not sure. I don't think anybody really is. The people who get moved by him rarely remember it and it's not like you can fucking ask him.

Unless you could. Conversations with Slenderman (Shaun I swear to god if you try to make this your next experiment I will knock your teeth out).

Oprah could do it.

James use to have a theory about it. 1 day we were sitting around in a house we had broken into (like you do), and talking about being moved. James had been moved recently and had taken an interest in it. I asked him what it was like to be teleported, if he remembered. He said 'Slenderman doesn't teleport. That's just how He moves.'

He said that Slenderman, because He's not suppose to be here, does live on the same space time plane as us. He's in a different sort of mathematical reality, so His perception and way of interacting with space and time are different. Basically Slenderman isn't teleporting from room to room, it's all the same to him. Going from 1 town to another is like walking into another room for Him. James thought that maybe when He touched you it messed up your own space time line and made you like Him, unstuck from time, and you could move around like Slenderman as long as He was touching you. That's why it's so painful when He touches you, because we're not suppose to be in reality like that.

We need space and time to live. Without it we can't even picture the universe. That's why when Slenderman touches us, it hurts, because the universe doesn't work the same way around Him and our bodies don't like that.

This isn't to say that Slenderman can be in 2 places at 1 time. If Slenderman is in your room He's not also attacking your buddy across the street. It's just that you need to walk with both space and time and Slenderman sometimes only walks with space.

Then James went back to reading Calvin and Hobbes and I thought about how bad I was at math.

I don't know if all that's true, but I do think Slenderman travels differently in time then us, and I don't think it's quite teleporting. Slenderman can go from 1 place to the next, but sometimes I feel like He's no where in our world at all. Not that He goes to another planet or something, but just not here. I didn't get enough of the math stuff James showed me to know if the stuff he said made sense, but I do think that Slenderman probably has a different perception of space in that sort of way.

As for all the time travel bullshit I don't know if I buy it. I get loosing time, but I don't know if I believe that people are going to sleep on Saturday and waking up on Friday. Being moved fucks with your brain and I think it's just people getting confused. Also it's hard to keep the date right when on the run. 1 time I knew somebody who thought they were being moved in time, but really was just writing the date wrong in their notebook because they had 2 calendars that said different things and kept switching off checking them each day. I've never known anybody who's actually time traveled, and I really don't think He can push you back and forth through time.

Also I think people think He's teleporting because he just sort of appears. But you never really see Slenderman appear like out of nowhere, He's just sort of there, like He stepped into another room. It's always slightly hard to look at Him and I think that's just because the way He's moving through time is hurting it and wrong and it's hard to look at for humans.

Also the fact He has no face and is coming to kill you doesn't help.

I think James went to sea because he was tired of being moved. It happened to him a lot, and I think he just wanted to stop that. I checked his notebook 1 time and it was full of math notes about how to stick himself in space and time. I think that's why he decided to get on a boat and never come back if it would never happen to him again.

That's why he left the land.

All this stuff is hard to say for sure, but I'll just tell you guys watch out because He is fast and is not moving the way we are. People tend to think Slenderman is slow because He's s slow walker, but it's not true. If you ever come up against Him in that way and can't get to a high spot or draw a symbol the best bet is to look at Him and slowly back away. People try to run and it doesn't work, he'll just get you when you have your back turned. It's not like if you blink He'll get you, He's not a fucking weeping angel, but you do have to look straight on and not stop until you're away. Even if it hurts. And if He hasn't seen you yet don't run, it just attracts His attention.

Short lesson today, but an important 1. I got some interesting emails, so I'll share those next time. Right now I have to get the fuck out of this Apple store. People keep asking me if I need help and I keep having to meet their icey gazes when I was no. Sorry, Apple, I was always a Dell guy. It runs Linux better. As always leave questions in the comments and keep emailing.

- M

Saturday, August 14, 2010


Elizabeth is gone. I realized what had happened a few hours after she posted about going down stairs and tried to go to where she was. I was on a roof and went down to the hallway of the building and I saw Him. He was standing there in front of me, just watching with His blank face. I stared back and I had a moment where I thought about closing my eyes and letting Him do whatever He was going to do. Then I had a sort of odd feeling. Like everything was shifting, and His head sort of tilted and He disappeared. I got moving after that and went back up to the roof and stayed there until morning. I went down and walked to where she had said she was. The diner she talked about was there and I went up to what I was pretty sure was where she was. I didn't find anything there, so I think that somebody else probably took the stuff, but it did look like somebody had been there. It smelled weird there, like ozone and fire. It was a pleasant smell.

After that I wasn't very well for a few days. After loosing Anthony and loosing Elizabeth I was about ready to sit down. I was so tired. I didn't know what to do.

I slept near the park for a few days. By the wall that separates the sidewalk from the trees. I knew it wasn't safe. I drew the operator symbol above me and that was it. Every night I'd look out over the trees and thought about sleeping in 1. I wondered what would happen. I didn't know what to do. I dreamed and all my dreams had a girl's voice talking to me in them. I would be walking down a road and hear the voice and feel like I hadn't walked at all, though the road behind me was long and far away. I didn't see Him. I still don't know why. You'd think that he would have picked me off when I was down below and not keeping my eyes open. I didn't see him, I wasn't moved, I didn't feel anything weird around me. I don't know why that is.

I had a dream on the last day I was there. A dream I remembered and was vivid and felt real like the other 1 I had. I was in the forest again. The mist made it seem gray and green and old. I looked around, wondering what I was doing there. The trees still seemed old and big. Then slowly, out of the trees, children came. They were white and transparent, like ghosts, but more firmly there. It was as if they were made of the mist. Their eyes were a sort of deep blue and they did not blink. They formed a sort of circle around me and looked at me. I starred at them, not feeling fear, or excitement, or much of anything.
'Find safety in the trees,' said 1 in front of me that I think was girl, though it seemed to vibrate against the trees and seem like all of them had said it.
'I don't know what that means!' I said louder then I had thought to.
'Find safety in the trees,' she said again and it echoed across the forest.
'What do you mean?' I asked.
'We are all together,' she said 'Like people. Like trees. Find safety in the trees.'
'The trees are dangerous!' I said and it felt like something was changing, like the wind had picked up except for that everything was blowing away.
'Not His trees,' she said 'the real trees. Find safety in the trees. We are all together. Like people. Like trees.'
Then everything seemed to sort of blow away and fade and she was in front of me, and took my hand. It felt like a jolt went through me, then just a sort of calm, soft joy. She looked up at me with her blue eyes, wide and staring at me with an calm kindness.
'There is a way to be safe,' she said.
Then she let go of my hand and sort of disappeared.

I woke up and it was day time. I pretty much jumped and walked away from the park. I walked away and tried to figure out what the dream could have meant. After a while I went to a store and checked my email.

Remember when I said I got an email from the guy with the just another fool email? I don't know if he's real or not. He sent me this:

'I saw him today
He didn't hurt me
I looked at him, and I saw not a monster, not a demon
But God
I realize now I was wrong to fear him
He was only watching over me, my angel
The flesh of fallen angels
My body no longer belongs to me, just as I deserve
It belongs to him, my God, my savior, my protector
I can help him
I can help him destroy those who would stand against him, and rally others
We can create paradise together
Just as you say, some may not be real
It will not matter
In time
You, the teacher
The strong man
The flood
She has dyed her hair red
And others
I cannot pretend to understand his infinite wisdom and grace
He does not speak to me
I am not worthy to hear his chorus
But I understand
I will help him
And I will begin

It's a lovely poem really.

As you could probably already guess I was pretty pissed off to read this. I had lost 2 people I had tried to help in less then a month, 1 who was a friend, and now some guy with a just another fool email was sending me fucked up poems. I was pissed off and I sent back a pretty threatening email, but even afterwards I was still angry. How dare he threaten the people around me, or anybody who is already dealing with all this in general, or the people who were connected to them. It made me realize something. Even if I do not save somebody, even if I don't know how to fight Slenderman and only how to get away from Him, and even if I can't get everybody to team up or even team up if somebody wanted me to, I can still try to save people. With the blog, and by giving people information, and answering questions and doing whatever I can. I just need to keep going. We all just need to keep going. Because if we don't, then all the people who write crazy emails win.

No lesson again in this entry. sorry guys. I guess that's what loosing 2 people in less then a month does to you. I'll do 1 soon though. In any case I drew this on the building I slept on last night as a sort of memorial. I don't usually do that kind of stuff but still. As always, though I doubt there will be this time, leave questions or anything in the comments and email if you need anything.

- M

Sunday, August 8, 2010


The past week has been shit. I mean more then usual which is saying something. Anthony from Lost Time is dead, which was probably harder on me then it should have been since I never met him and shouldn't care as much. I know it's all just stupid shit, like him reminding me of my brother, and the him being so young, but still it's hard. I've always tended to encounter people before but we always sort had an agreement that we would split up at some point. We were just watching each other because we were going down the same path at the time and would eventually not see each other anymore because we'd have to move, or would need to be alone, or die. Mimi, James, Warrner, Shandi, they were all the same. People I met on the road but not really friends. A lot of it was because teaming up, as I've said is dangerous, but also a lot of it was because we knew we were all marked and humans.

And humans have the unpleasant habit of dying. Especially people in our group.

Recently though, after starting this blog, I keep talking to people, hearing their stories and it's different. I don't know why but it is. It's weird not being lonely, or as lonely. Right before he died and locked me in the water tower my brother said something to me. He knew everybody was gone. He knew we would have to leave soon, even though I didn't want to. He walked me up to the water tower and we stood up there. The water tower had a sort of rail around it and a small gate. You unlocked the gate and could get to the ladder on the side of the tower. We stood up there, watching the sky, and then he began to walk around the little pathway, in a circle, not saying anything for a minute.
"What are you doing?" I asked, turning to look at him.
"We're really in trouble, M, this is serious," he said not looking at me.
I didn't say anything, just watched him pace some more, making laps around the tiny circle we were in. He stopped at the little gate and looked out into the sky. The sun was setting and the sky was turning an orange sort of colour.
"This can't go on much longer," he said quietly.
"What do you mean?" I asked "there's nothing we can do. We can't just give ourselves to him! We just have to keep going. There has to be something we can do."
"There's something we can do yeah," he said "I'm gonna try. I'm gonna take that asshole down."
"Yeah!" I said "Let's do it! When are you planning it?"
"Tonight," he said.

And then he sort of bolted as best you can in such a small area. He opened the gate and jumped onto the ladder. I ran over and saw him tugging at the lock in the gate.

It was an old water tower. That lock was breaking anyway.

He looked up at me, standing on the ladder. I think at this point I had realized the gate wouldn't open and was screaming at him. I don't remember what I screamed. I just remember trying to get the rusty gate open and looking at my brother on the other side of it, an odd look on his face. He looked regretful and sad and determined and in the end he just looked tired.

He looked at me with his sad eyes behind his stupid glasses as I screamed at him.
"Try to make friends, M," he said "You have to stay safe and get moving soon, but none of that is worth it if you don't have anybody. You have to go and find new people. Do that for me ok?"
And then he climbed down the ladder and ran back to our house. I stayed in the water tower all night. I finally got the gate open in the morning and went back to the house.

My brother was dead, I left, and didn't follow the last advice he gave me.

It's dangerous walking around in groups. 2 people are dangerous, a whole group would make Him even stronger and you more of a target. Rereading this blog less then a month ago I wrote that I didn't want to team up with anybody. It was too dangerous and there was no reason to.

Now I'm not so sure.

I've met so many people recently. People who need help, or are on the road too, or are just trying to stay alive. People keep talking about meeting up, and now I don't know. Maybe it would be better. Even if it does make Him stronger maybe a group would be strong and safer. I don't really think the rules can change that easily or that being in groups is safe. I've never thought that.

But then I use to think the trees were save when I 1st started out.

I still feel like things are changing. There are still shifts in the air sometimes. I don't know why, or what it means but I just feel things are changing. I don't know if that means he's getting stronger, or weaker or just changing. But thing feel different and now I know other people feel it too.

Things are changing, and maybe that means it's time to start putting together teams.

I never thought I'd say that. But then I never thought I'd touch a tree either.

And I did that yesterday.

Not like close to it, there was a wall in between us. But still. I grazed the side of it with my finger tips.

Then I ran about 5 miles away from there as fast as I could, got up onto the highest building I know and came back to my senses.

So maybe it is time to team up. Because things are changing. Zeke and Anthony are both gone, if not dead. He took out 2 people in less then a month. He's changing. We need to change too to beat him, and maybe that means, if not fighting back, at least teaming up. And I don't know if I can deal with somebody else dying near me anytime soon. As unrealistic as that sounds.

Sorry this isn't a real lesson today, guys. I'll try to do 1 soon. As always, though I doubt there will be about any of my personal bullshit, leave all you questions or anything in the comments and keep the emails coming! Now I'm gonna try to find something cheap to eat and a place up high.

- M

Friday, July 30, 2010

Signs of being hallowed out

The last few days have been rough. I've been getting a lot of emails from people recently and as much as I like hearing from people (keep the emails coming!) it is hard to hear about everybody being afraid and running. I tell people not to be scared, but I don't know how realistic that is. People tell me that I'm fighting and I don't know if I am. I'm fighting it, but I'm not fighting it like other people are. I'm looking for a way to end this. Like I said before this is our fault, I'm just here to clean up, not kill Slenderman. I don't even know if that's possible. But to say not to look, to say not to try to do that, to not do that at all just seems like a cop out to me. I feel like everybody holds answers, everybody hold a piece of the puzzle, and that together maybe we can do something, but I don't know if that's true. I don't know if there's anyway to stop this besides forgetting about it. And that's not gonna happen any time soon. I feel like I should be doing something to fight, but I don't know what that is.

I feel like it has something to do with my dream, but what?

I've also been pretty worried about Anthony from Lost Time. His last entry was pretty grim and he hasn't posted anything. I don't even know him but still. I almost couldn't check his blog tonight because I was so afraid of what I would see. But I did and nothing had changed which I guess was a good thing. Also Zeke still isn't back yet. It's been a week, Zeke where the fuck are you? We can wait all night. Or was the door too scary? We better get a video out of this like you promised or else you are a liar. Don't leave us hanging, dude! Yeah I know don't taunt Zeke he'll come kick your ass. Like I give a shit. I've seen Slenderman, I'm not afraid of some cop from New Hampshire or whatever. Fuck.

I wish he'd come kick my ass.

At least we'd know if he was still alive.

In any case like I said I've gotten a few emails from people over the past few days. 1 was from Scarlett, who is being followed (more on this as it updates, just want to keep you guys posted as to what's going on so I don't leave you in the dark), and 1 was from Shaun River. Shaun is on the run and emailed me (his blog is here just for the record: actually brought up a really good point after I asked him how long he had been being followed which was:

'How long have I been followed? I'd say it's been a year or so now, but that's somewhat blurry...the first month almost left me hallowed.

Which is something i think you should likely address some time on your blog. Being hallowed isn't an immediate or inevitable process, I'm sure you know that. But it would probably do people some good to know what the 'symptoms' are. The black outs while awake, the sickness, all that. It's pretty intense stuff for most people, but i'm sure there've been those who it's been different for.'

After that I sat there for a minute and stared at the computer I whammed my head against the desk until the people at the store I was at gave me weird looks. I haven't covered this and it's extremely important.

I have sort of touched on this before. That you shouldn't trust somebody who's been hallowed out and that it happens to people quickly sometimes, but can also happen over the course of a few months and sometimes starts to happen but isn't completed because the person can fight it off. But I think another good thing to know is how to tell somebody is being hallowed out. It's pretty easy to tell if somebody already has been. They start to run around and talk to code and trying to kill you, that kind of stuff, but before Slenderman takes them over they're still people, and there are ways to tell if it's happening to somebody.

Listen to me. I sound like I should be teaching health class.

No Slenderlove with out protection, kids.

Wow I just grossed myself out so badly.

And on that disturbing note here's the lesson for today. Basically being hallowed out is based a lot on being touched by Slenderman. It's how He takes control of people. Slenderman shouldn't be here. He's not part of the natural world and when something like that touches us our whole system shuts down. and that's where a lot of the symptoms like Shaun mentioned come from. There are 3 major symptoms of being hallowed out.

1. Blacking out.

Really only you can tell if you're having this symptom since it's tied in with number 3 and another person really won't see you black out. Black outs happen when Slenderman touches you because your body shuts down. Usually people experience it for long periods of time because Slenderman is moving them. I haven't been moved in a long time and actually never blacked out and was moved. My brother use to talk about this a lot though. He would say he 'fainted' and woke up in other places. I don't know why Slenderman moves people and doesn't kill them. It's usually to make them do stuff for Him before their completely hallowed out, but sometimes He just moves them and I don't know why. I had a friend that said it was actually how He moved around. That Slenderman needed a certain kind of person to take with Him so He could move around in our reality. But I'm not sure how true this is. Slenderman isn't always seen with a person so how could that be true? In any case if you find yourself blacking out, and waking up in other places (or even the same place) it probably means Slenderman is trying to hallow you out. Tell somebody right away (only you can prevent hallowing out!) and take precautions.

2. The cough

Like I said your body doesn't really respond well to being touched by something not from this reality, so when it's around you for long periods of time, or touching you, you tend to to get sick. This usually results in a cough and feeling faint when he's close by. This is also the symptom that's most easily spotted by other people so if somebody you know has developed a cough they may be in the early stages of being hallowed out. Now don't jump all over your friend if he has a cold or something, but still keep a look out. Marble Hornets says there are pills you can take that make it so that you're sick when around Slenderman, but like I've said Marble Hornets is fake and I don't really know what good a pill that lets you be around Slenderman without getting sick would be. That means your body is working well and tells you if you're coming into contact with Him and don't know. It's imprtant and you should listen to your body in that case. Just like you would with anything else.

3. Disappearing for periods of time

This is the flip side of blacking out and the part people around you can see. If you have a friend who seems to go missing a lot and they say they've been blacking out, then it means Slenderman is probably moving them, even if they end up in the same place they were originally. The real thing that I'm not sure about when it comes to this is when people don't remember black out exactly and just sort of disappear then wake up in random places or wherever they last remember sitting down to play video games. I'm not sure where they go in this period of time and that's what confuses me. I don't know where Slenderman is taking them and I don't think anybody really does, but He's definitely touching them which makes me think he's moving them somewhere.

There are of course other things. People get the notebooks a lot when being hallowed out, but everybody gets the notebooks so it may not be that and just your body's natural defense mechanisms kicking in. You will see a different sort of notebooks though from people who are being hallowed out. More of it will be in code, it will be more cryptic, and this is usually when people write messages to other people or just themselves ('help', 'sees him', 'he's there', and my personal favorite 'it hurts'). Being hallowed out can happen at any number of speeds. Sometimes it happens to somebody in a minute, but it can take months as well. If you watch a person close enough it's avoidable and even somebody who's pretty far gone can be brought back. You just have to be careful and watch the people around you and yourself for the signs.

So that the lesson for today: watch for sign of being hallowed out, and if you see them take the right precautions (following the rules, writing the (x) symbol, and being aware of what's around you). It's a pretty straight up lesson today, but I needed yo do an entry on this or else I'd feel like a huge dumb ass. Before I go (and I have to soon because it is late and the woman who's lap top I borrowed could wake up at any second) I do want to post something really quickly that Scarlett send me that I thought was interesting:

'Here's what I know about trees and brains.
Trees communicate with eachother kind of like how a brain communicates, a forest is basically a big brain. They can communicate danger, like forest fires, but they can't do anything because they're trees. Perhaps there is something to do with communication of danger, recognition, that he feeds off of? ALthough I do believe the trees very well may be his spies.'

I don't know if the trees are his spies, I don't think so. The trees in my dream, like I've said before, didn't seem bad, they didn't even seem like Slenderman. Even so I do think the idea that trees communicate with each other and are like a big brain is interesting. Maybe the trees are just as scared of Him as we are. Maybe they know He's evil and want Him to get away from them. It sure seemed like that in my dream anyway.

In anycase send me emails if you need anything and as always leave your questions or anything in the comments. Now I have to get the hell out of this diner before the guys running it realize I don't know this woman.

- M

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Keep running

It's been raining here a lot recently and still been hot. I go places and I smell like a wet dog. I don't think I've actually been inside for about 4 days. I got another email from a person asking for help, but they never got back to me and I think it was a fake. They had a 'just another fool' email but said they had never heard of Slenderman before now. If Slenderman is following you, you've heard of Slenderman beforehand, it's been passed on somehow (except with Anthony, which still bothers me). Even so I've mostly been wandering around the city, thinking about the Hawkers, and my brother, and the fucking trees. Also Zeke from Seeking Truth is gonna go open that door he keeps talking about so that should be pretty exciting/horrifying.

Not to mention the fact he probably won't come back alive.

Anyway enough of this shitty personal stuff, time to actually do a lesson. A lesson I thought I had already taught, but obviously had not pressed hard enough, which is you need to keep moving and you need to run. I mean really people, it's 1 of the 3 rules, this shit is important! I know it's hard to just up and move and start going on the run, and I know it's hard to be on the run, but know what's harder? Seeing everybody you like die or disappear. I'm tired of having to tell people to move and run and then seeing 2 weeks later they're still in their house. You need to leave and you need to leave as soon as you can. Because if you stay near the people you like when Slenderman is following you, it's like you've killed them.

Like I said, I know running isn't easy. you need to remember you're going to need food and water and to stay sharp when you're sleeping outside or on the street. If you're young try to team up with somebody else so you'll be safer. Bring warm clothes even if you don't live some place cold. Be careful who you talk to or go with. These are important things to remember. You don't want to be running from Slenderman and then get picked off by some homeless guy.

But then people still don't want to leave. They're afraid that they won't make it, or don't want to leave the people they love, or think they can stay and fight.

But you won't make it if you stay, and the people you love are screwed if you stay.

As for fighting, I don't know about that. I'm not a fighter, I don't do that kind of stupid hero shit. That's good for some people, but I have no idea if it will actually work, or if you're just running into death. At this point we don't know enough about Slenderman and what can hurt Him, or even if there's anything that can, to go off and fight Him. Without the proper research we don't have enough information to go fighting Slenderman, so it's better for now to run.

Because if you don't run you will die.

In the comments for the last entry Elizabeth asked (I read your blog by the way, Elizabeth, and you need to start running) 'About how long does one survive if they don't run?' The answer is about 2 weeks. People can get picked off pretty quickly if they're minds snap and He takes them, but usually if they really just sit around and let Slenderman get them like most of the people who made early Slenderman blogs it takes about a month in all, 2 weeks after they really start seeing Him.

Slenderman likes to play with His food.

Then again some people are different. A few months ago I met a girl named Shandi who lived out in the woods. I found her house 1 day when walking down a road and I saw it out of the corner of my eye. I almost didn't go look at it, but then I saw it.

A huge red (X) on the up stairs window of the house.

Like I said I'm not a hero, and I'm not about to run into a forest, but when I see a house covered in operator symbols I'm gonna go investigate. I mean what if there were people in there. I can't fight Slenderman, and I'm not so much for teaming up, but I can't just leave other people to fight Him alone. I can't live with that.

I pretty much ran the whole way to the house. The door wasn't locked and I went in. Every room was empty, the wood of the house was rotting, and everything seemed odd and wet. It was like the house hadn't been lived in for 40 years, though it looked like a new 1. Small, but not an old style. Then finally I made it up stairs, to the bed room in the middle of the hall between 2 others and saw her. She was sitting on a wooden chair, her hair sandy blond and thick and greasy. She clothes were the faded colours of the house and her glasses were smugged and dirty. She stared at the same spot in the wall, her hands in her lap and she was so still that when I 1st saw her for a moment I thought she was dead.

She didn't talk to me until I went right next to her and asked her a few things. All the time I was there she only told me a few things about herself and she didn't talk very much. Everything had started happening to her about the same time it had started happening to me. The house hadn't always looked like that, it had been normal. But Slenderman had been in it a few time, tried to set it on fire, basically attacked it from all sides. Her mom, dad, and sister had all died. She didn't know what had happened to her friends. She was home schooled so she didn't really have many anyway. After her sister was killed, who was 9, she had gone crazy, tried to kill Slenderman anyway she could. Tried to burn down the house herself when He was in it. Nothing had worked. Shandi had gone into the woods and tried to shot herself after all that. But it didn't work. He moved her back to the house too quickly. She couldn't live and she couldn't die.

After that Shandi stopped caring. When I lived in the house, mostly because I felt too bad to just leave her behind, she barely ate, or slept or did anything besides sit in that chair. Sometimes she talked to me, or told me stories she made up, but that was about it. She never even got the notebooks. She was too strong to be taken, and too weak to beat him.

She had lived in the house without running for months, and she was still alive. Then 1 morning I woke up, the room dark with His large form blocking the window.

He looked at me. I don't know how something without eyes can look at you, but he did, and he knew. He touched my shoulder too. It felt like being touched by glass or some soft, burning liquid. Everything went white and fell apart for a minute. Then he walked out of the room and by the time I made it out into the hallway and into her room, He was gone and so was Shandi.

I guess that answers Elizabeth's other question 'How close have you gotten to it?'

This doesn't mean that you can live as long in the house as Shandi did, keep in mind. Shandi was unusual. Like I said it usually only takes 2 weeks. But even if you're strong, if you think you can wait him out in your house, you can't. He'll get you in you stay still, even if it's after days, or weeks, or months. He'll find you, and He'll know where you and everybody you love is, and He'll kill you.

So that's the lesson for today: If you see Slenderman run, and keep running.

As always if you have any question or comments email me or leave them in the comments. For now remember to stay safe, don't listen to your dead brother, and maybe think good things about Zeke. I'm gonna go a place to take a shower or something.

- M

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Anthony Hawker

I got an email a few days ago from a kid named Anthony Hawker asking my help. Evidently his brother died in a house fire a few months ago and he made this blog with his family ( in honor of his memory. About a month after the entries started he started being followed by Slenderman. He's gotten pretty close to Him, but is still alive and has decided to run. I got the email on the 19th. It said:

'Hello M, my name is Anthony. I have too much going on right now to explain in detail what happened, but here's the gist: My brother, Andrew, died in a fire, and Slender Man then started stalking me, (apparently He was stalking Andrew before). But here's the thing, Andrew isn't dead. In fact he'd been posting on this blog my family (now just me) had been keeping since his "death": (link to blog).
I'm still not completely over the shock, but apparently he escaped Him and faked his own death...somehow. But he seems to have lost his sanity, or he's being overly cryptic. The last message he left is a YouTube video but with pieces of the URL missing. I don't know how to solve it.But I fell it's important. Please help. I'm on the run, sort of, and can't do anything but watch my back.'

I responded with what I usually tell people to do before I have full information on their situation and told him to keep moving and maybe come to New York and after a few days I got this information: he's 15, in California, and somewhat on the run (meaning he's stopping in places pretty nearby where he lives, but is still moving which is good). I'm still not sure how he got infected, but I do know there have been times he's blacked out and written in code without knowing it, so he's maybe farther gone then he thinks. After going on his blog and reading through it I realized that his brother had left him a code that lead him to a youtube video. The video basically says that Anthony should go to some place near a bunch of trees in what looks like a forest.

And this brings me to my next lesson, don't trust people who have been Hallowed out.

I wrote a little bit about codes and what they mean and why people do them a little while ago, and if you remember people write in code when Slenderman is taking them over. When people 'black out' it usually means Slenderman is trying to take control and the part of them that writes codes is the part trying to fight back.

But some people can't fight forever.

And those people become Slenderman's puppets. Slenderman can't do a lot of things humans can. He can't move when people are looking at Him, He can't deal with water (maybe, I wish James would get in touch with me on this), and probably a bunch of other stuff that humans can easily do. And that's why He takes control of people, so they can erase they're operator symbols and leave shit places, and move around when people are looking right at them

And use those people to lure the person he's after to Him.

Now I'm not saying Slenderman sits around all day thinking 'Hmmmmmm I'll get this guy's brother to make a video and lure him near a bunch of trees and jump out and rip him apart.' Slenderman just isn't that smart. Lets face it (haha get it? Face it?), He can't even tell you're a human if you're up higher then 8 feet.

But the people being controlled do. They know how humans are, they still have their memories, they know what will get people to come to them, and they do it. Because they're not them anymore, they're just imprints of that last fleeting part of themselves that was trying to survive but couldn't as Slenderman was trying to take control of them, the part that made codes and told you to go to the tower they built for you. But now Slenderman has them and is just using them to get more people. They're not themselves anymore, just shells filled with what Slenderman wants and needs.

So I guess the lesson is, don't trust people who have been hallowed out even if they do act or look like somebody you knew. Because they're not them anymore. Those people are dead. And all that remains is a body run by Slenderman and an imprint of what they were.

Remember, send me emails if you need anything, and question or anything in the comments. Also a lot of people have been floating the idea that iron or salt can keep Slenderman away. I don't really think this could work (which ironically is why it doesn't), and don't really have the money right now to get salt or a large amount of iron, but if somebody could try this out that would be great.

And remember, if you're reading this Antony, don't do anything your brother says to do, especially in that video. Because he's not your brother anymore.

Because everything in that video is dangerous.

Because your brother is as dead as mine is.

- M

Sunday, July 18, 2010

fight or flight: easier when they have a face

'Find safety in the trees.'

That's the phrase that's been going through my head for the past 8 days. New York doesn't have many trees, but (in case you don't know) there is a fucking huge park right in the middle of it (in fact it's kind of central). I've basically stayed away from it the whole time I've been here. I mostly hang around near 14th street or up by 90th or so. Those are the places that's it's easiest to sit around on the ground without getting hassled and find tall buildings that are easy to break into to.

But recently I find myself heading to the park. There are tall brick walls all around it, like they know what's in there's not safe, and the trees reach out into the street. I never actually go in. I just stand there, staring at it, the same phrase going through my head again and again and again.


At 1st I was sort of worried this meant Slenderman was getting to me.

Then I remembered I was always like this.

I have no idea what this could mean if anything, but I know it's not true. There are 3 things you can do that will get you killed by Slenderman:

1. Not following the rules.
2. Hanging out with somebody being followed by Slenderman.
3. Hanging out in a forest.

When I 1st started out as I said, I thought the forest was safe. It seemed like the safest place to be. I use to hang out in it a lot because it was near my house and I figured anything that would chase after you would have a hard time getting around in it.

But that's not true.

Slenderman uses the trees to get around. I don't know why and I don't know how, but He does. The weird thing is He uses people to get around too, so I don't know how those 2 things are connected. Peoples brains, forests, they have nothing in common, except evidently Selnderman. I think maybe that's His natural habitat. Because people always thought of Him by the trees, or hid Him there in pictures, it became His home. And things are always more powerful at home. So maybe that's it. Maybe He's more powerful in the home we chose for Him.

All this shit is our fault, the people who made the stories, who watched the videos, who willed Him into existence. And now we don't know how to fix it and are all falling apart. Every other blog that may be real seems to be having the same reaction right now: fight. But I don't know if I can fight. I can barely stand by a fucking park. I made this blog to help, I want to clean up this mess. But I feel like fighting will just get more blood on my hands. I feel like somebody is trying to tell me something, but I can't figure out what. If these rules don't work, if the trees become safe, I won't know what to think anymore. I'll be lost again. And then what? Then how can I help people? How can I beat this thing?

Everything is shifting because of all this stuff. All the blogs and videos and people being followed by Him. The way people see Slenderman, His powers, how to deal with Him. I can feel it, and I wonder if the other people being followed by Him can feel it too.

I had a friend before all this happened named Jim. He liked to get high a lot in his basement and we'd hang out while he smoked pot and I sat around laughing at the stoners. 1 day I tried to tell him all about Marble Hornets and Slenderman and how he should get into the videos.
"So wait, this guy has no face?" he asked.
"Yeah, I mean he's not a guy, but yeah it has no face." I said.
"So this J guy has to face a guy with no face?" he laughed.
"What?" I said "Yeah I guess."
He laughed pretty hard over this for a while and after a while I laughed too. Even if you're not high it's kind of funny seeing how amused people can get at their own shitty jokes when they are. Or at least it use to be.

God I was such a dumbass back then.

Why didn't I realize what a dumbass I was?

Jim disappeared pretty early on. A lot of people thought he had run away, but now I know that he was taken. Thinking back on this now I just remember how he said that. 'Has to face a guy with no face.'

I don't know if I want to face a guy with no face.

And I sure as fuck don't want to find safety in the trees.

I guess the lesson for today is pretty simple: stay the fuck away from woods, forests, parks and any other place there are large amounts of trees. Like I've said before it's how he moves and it's it's his home, so he's at the advantage there and that's the last thing you want to give him.

I also have an email now. I saw some people were asking to talk to me in the comments, so I made 1 so that anybody can send me messages if they need me. I may give my P.O. Box out too on here. Not sure yet. It's so email me if you need anything. And as always leave questions or anything in the comments.

Now I'm gonna go find somewhere with AC because it is still fucking hot here.

- M

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I didn't even get to go to Disney

It was nice to be able to sit down and rest (or as much as I can rest these days) the past few days or so. Like I said before I had to do a lot of running and spent a lot of money I really shouldn't have spent. I don't know how I'm gonna raise more I feel like it won't be fun. Either way at least I have enough for food and stuff for a few more weeks. These last few days I've tried my best to stay alert while still trying to rest and get my energy back up, think about everything that happened, and get updated on the other people who are dealing with this thing (holy shit, you guys, did you see this blog was mentioned on that Zeke's guy's blog? I have to say, in a morbid kind of way I'm sort of proud. I mean that's a good fucking blog even if it is fake (yeah yeah, I hear you Zeke, bitch, bitch. Getting yelled at isn't going to convince, or not convince, me your blog is the real thing. I've been yelled at by a lot of people, and a fair amount of them were fictional. I use to LARP, I know how that shit goes.) and it was good to know he read it and that it helped. I didn't really care for the little boy comment, but still! Ok enough being a fangirly little bitch back to the entry. Sorry about that guys. Jesus what came over me? Also basic updates for people not reading other blogs: Zeke finished his reading, That chick on canyouseethewords is pretty but probably not real, and Damien is still crazy.).

Sometimes when I reread my blog posts I do after this sort of shit has happened to me I get scared. They're so short and half of what's in them doesn't make sense. Sometimes I worry it's effecting me and I don't even realize it. People who are being hollowed out realize it, but only until it's too late and by then not much of them is left. How would you know if you were being taken over? How would you know if you were going crazy? Sometimes I'm scared that 1 day every entry in this blog will be that short, or codes, or worse yet no entries at all. I need to keep myself thinking straight and keep my mind mine.

But I guess going to Florida will make anybody feel like that, even if they're not be followed by Him.

It's weird but right after I did the entry about not wanting to infect anybody I got a letter in my P.O. Box from somebody. I check my P.O. Box every day just in case, but usually there's nothing in it. I mostly got it so that I got order stuff (when my card still worked), or so that people who were close by or had to move could get in contact with me. Since I got the 1 in New York I haven't given out the address to anybody so I really haven't gotten any mail in there. Somehow somebody got it though and had mailed me something. It was a pretty thick envelope, even though there wasn't much in it. It was beaten up and the corner's were almost black. Since I've had it it fell apart in my pocket. In it was this:

Somebody's a Hole fan.

I was always more into Nirvana myself.

Other then that there was another piece of paper with a place and a date. It was signed Daphne Shawlts. I wasn't really sure what to do at 1st. After I got it I sat and thought about what I should do for a while. It might have been some crazy trying to contact me, or somebody just trying to lure me into a trap or thinking this was a game. But then it could have also been somebody who needed help, and the idea of leaving them high and dry didn't really sounds great to me. I realized I would have to go out there.

Because I needed to see why they contacted me and how they got my P.O. Box.

And because Tim was my brother.

The address she sent was in Kissimmee so I stayed around there until it was the time that was on the piece of paper. After that I went to the location and waited a few hours. She never showed up. I'm a little more then worried about this, and like I said if anybody has any information on this tell me, but I'd like to think I just missed her or she couldn't make it there for some reason. I was pretty worried about her, but I have to admit a selfish part of me wanted to know how she knew my brother. I haven't posted his name on this blog before, and not even many of the people I've met on the road know it. I doubt she really knew him, but even the fact she knew his name, or was using it to lure me somewhere, really worries me, especially since she was using code which means she may be pretty far gone already. I know I talk a lot about my brother, but I really just want him to stay dead. He had to deal enough with this stuff when he was alive, I don't want his name to be brought up constantly in all this. It's bad enough he had the same name as a guy in Marble Hornets and I have to deal with that, I don't want people automatically linking him with all this anymore then they already do.

I slept on the roof of some place called Falwty Towers Tavern. I think I fell into too deep a sleep. It was hot and damp and everything smelled like it had just rained. The roof felt damp against my cheek and for the 1st time in a while I dreamed. I guess I dream every night, since they say you have to to stay alive (but so much crazy shit has happened who even knows anymore), but I never remember dreaming. I don't sleep very deeply or well, and I tend to wake up about every hour so. It was so jarring for my mind I think that it had to get accustom to it again. Everything was blurry and wobbly for a while in it, like a TV tuning into a station, but it evened out and I could see what was actually happening and remember actual events in the dream afterwards.

I was in a forest. In was damp and green and misty like a rain forest and the trees were big, and thick and old, not like the trees in the forests here which are skinny and young. Moss was everywhere. I've never been in a forest that green in real life, just the basic kind you get here. There were no sounds other then birds and the sounds forests make when they're healthy and good. I wasn't dressed like I normally am. I was wearing what I use to wear. Long coat, t-shirt, pants that weren't ripped and faded. It was weird. I felt comfortable, but I knew something was off. It felt like there was something I had to do. I walked deeper into the forest. The trees became denser around me until finally I made it to a large tree in the middle of the road. It was thicker then the others and taller, and it was blocking the path. Then suddenly everything seemed to move and the forest and the trees seemed to all talk to me in a bunch of voices that were all saying the same thing.

'Find safety in the trees.'

I was about to try to think of something to say back when I felt something touch me. The whole forest seemed to shudder and gasp and started to yell again. Everything started to go black and I felt like I was falling into something deep and dark, and I heard somebody say 'Wake up!'

And I did. On another roof top. It was still dark and I pretty much jumped off the fucking roof. Where Him had touched me on my back was still burning and it took me a good 5 minutes to get my bearings. I haven't been moved in a long time, and it's always a less then pleasant feeling. I sat there for a few minutes, then got my stuff and got going. I had thought a little bit about staying in Florida for a while, but after all that I realized I had to get back to New York. Something about that place didn't seem right to me, seemed less safe and I knew I needed to get back. I don't really know what to think about that dream. I know the forest isn't safe, it's probably the least safe place you can be (low to the ground, hard to move in, too many place to keep watch over, it breaks all the rules!). Still the forest in it didn't seem bad. And when I was moved it seemed upset. I'm not sure what it was trying to tell me, if anything, but I just feel like at this point thinking it means nothing is stupid since fucking everything seems to mean something.

I got back to the city in 1 piece and like I said slept and tried to figure out what everything meant. I'm sorry this entry really doesn't have a lesson, guys. I want to be honest about everything on this blog and not keep secrets, so not posting that I'd been across fucking state lines for the past few days just didn't sit right with me.

I also got this in my P.O. Box that day:

I see you have WiFi on your boat.
- M

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Teaming up, except not at all

Holy gamejack, you guys!

Well not really. I don't know if the people following this saw the weird journal that commented in my last entry, but I feel like it was somebody who thought this was a ARG tried to get me in on their's. Some weird religious thing. So weird. I haven't been to church in so long, even before all this happened and even though I tried everything when it started to I never thought 'know what will help? Praying. Lets pray that Jesus or whoever will strike Slenderman down.'

I mean the last time I tried to imagine that something fake was real it worked and now it's trying to kill me.

Not that I'm putting down religion or anything. Whatever works for you is cool. I'm just saying I don't think the answer to beat this thing can be found in religion. In Seeking Truth, that Zeke guy's blog, he makes a lot of references to the Bible and stuff, but to me that make it harder to believe. As much as I'd like to think that blog is real, but all the angel of death stuff kind of turned me off. I never heard anything like that about Slenderman. But then, what people believe tends to become true, so I guess it's possible. Haven't heard of the door he has to walk through either, but it seems like he has to deal with that.

All this stuff makes me think about all the other people dealing with this and how hard it is to tell if it's real or not over the internet. I feel like everybody wants all the people fighting this to 'team up' or something and I'm just not sure how I feel about that. Like I said before big groups are more dangerous then just going around by yourself. I mean 2 people are ok but a whole group just makes Him stronger. I made this blog to help, but I don't know if I want to team up with people.

At the same time I feel sort of weird just watching people run around freaking out and not doing anything. I have a hard enough time commenting on other people's blogs, I don't think I could ever be like 'Hey guys, come to New York and we can hang on stoops and watch each other's backs! Yay!'

Evil is following me and I'm watching it tear people's lives apart and I'm shy.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

In any case a short blog entry today. A lot of stuff has happened in the last few days. I got a few interesting things in my P.O. Box 1 of which made me go to Florida. The person I was suppose to meet up with wasn't there. Slightly disconcerting. At least I got to move around some. All the travel has made me tired. I need to get my thoughts together and then do a real entry. I'll post more about that later. At least I didn't see anything too bad, though it was worrying. If anybody knows a Daphne Shawlts tell her I came to look for her, but I guess I missed her or something. Also, again, anybody who has any question or anything leave them in the comments and I'll get back to you as quick as I can.

For now though I need to find a tall roof top and sleep.

- M

Monday, July 5, 2010

Holy crap, it is so hot in the city right now. This whole week is suppose to be in the 90's! The 90's! Holy crap! Now I'm from a part of America that gets very hot, but I was not expecting it to be that hot here! Especially since when I lived in that very hot part of America I could go around in a t-shirt and shorts. Now I have to walk around in my long pants I use for the winter here and a hoodie. Luckily there are lots of places you can hang out that are air conditioned. I've mostly spent today hanging out in Star Bucks and book stores and stuff.

It almost felt normal.

Except for, you know, the whole constantly look behind me for evil beings and having no friends because they died and stuff.

Jeez, M, had to bring that up didn't you? Just enjoy your fucking $8 coffee and stop bitching.

The other thing I realized today is that people are actually watching this blog now. I have to say, I made this blog so that it would be watched and read, but when I saw that I almost deleted the whole thing. Because that's when I realized something.

What if I infect somebody and pass Slenderman onto them through this blog?

I made this blog mostly for people who are already being followed by Him and are trying to survive, but of course people who aren't are going to find it and read it just for fun (which is kind of weird for me on a whole different level, but even so, it will happen). And what if they start to be followed by Him afterwards? Their blood is on my hands! Even if they do follow the rules, their lives will probably be ruined because of it! All because of me and this blog!

And then that fucking Katy Perry song came on. And a small voice in my head said 'Don't be so full of yourself, asshole.'

And I guess that's true. Most people will already know about Slenderman who find this blog and those people need help. I'd rather risk a few people reading this and thinking it's just some kid's stupid writing project, and help a bunch of people, or even just a few, instead of just deleting it all. Also I sometimes feel like I'll go insane if I don't write in this thing. It's hard to walk around with all this and not let any of it out because most people you meet on the street don't know about this stuff and you could infect (I hate using that word because it sounds like I have plague or something, but I can't really think of a better word for it) them.

And it has happened before. I only slipped 1 time! But it lost me a really good friend. It was all my fault. All because of my big mouth. All because I couldn't keep it all inside.

This was when I was 1st on the road. I was pretty shaken up by everything that had happened and not too far away from where I had lived before. I slept under trees because I couldn't find anywhere high up. I rested most of the time. I didn't go very far. I wasn't very good at following the rules. I think a part of me wanted Him to get me. I wanted to see my brother, even that meant going wherever he had gone.

I was kind of dumb back then.

I stopped in a town and started to hang out around there. I slept on benches and didn't really talk to anybody. Then 1 day a boy from the high school saw me sitting on 1 of the benches and came over and started talking to me. I think he thought I was some homeless junky kid who he could help and take home and give a bath to and stuff. He looked like it. Messy hair, big glasses, a little small, that kind of kid.

Actually a little bit like my brother now that I think about it.

His name was Warrner. Every time we talked he would try to get me to go home with him and I would say no and pretend I was asleep and or something. We would talk about his day at school, or whatever he had seen on TV or video games he was playing and I had played before. He was really into classical music and sometimes he would drag me to music stores and play piano and I would sit there and be bored(like I said, he was that kind of kid. And I was, again, kind of dumb).

It was nice, and I thought for a while that maybe things could go back to normal. I could live in that town and be the lovable hobo, and maybe 1 day actually go to Warrner's house and live there and go back to school and be normal and get a job.

And then I did go to Warrner's house.

It was raining and he was sitting at the bench with a big umbrella. I liked the rain, it was good to get some of the grime off my face and clothes. He looked cold though and kept tipping the umbrella so that the rain would hit him and make his hair wet and flop into his eyes. After a wile I got tired of seeing him get soaked and pretend he didn't notice, so I suggested we go to his house. He seemed so happy that I wanted to go. I think he thought that if he just got me into the house then I would never leave and that I would live with him and go to school and all that stuff. We got to his house. He gave me dry clothes, something to drink, and we sat on his bed.

And then he asked me why I slept on the street.

And then I told him everything.

Everything came pouring out. Slenderman, how I found him, what happened to my brother, all of it. By the end I think he thought I was crazy. He was pretty freaked out. I got my clothes and left. I thought I would never see him again.

And I didn't for a few days.

But then he came to see me again. He looked terrible. His eyes had deep bruises underneath them like he hadn't slept in days, his clothes were dirty, he was twitchy and couldn't sit still for long and after a while dragged me back to his house and pulled me around to the back.
"It's all true," he said, picking at the white paint on the back of the house "everything you said. I saw him! In the woods. I haven't slept or else he comes. Last night I woke up after falling asleep by mistake and he was there and I had to run! I barely got out of my house. I ran into the woods. That's what you said was good right? The woods?"

Did I mention I thought the woods were safe when I 1st started out? Did i mention I was really stupid back then?

I told him to hide in the woods until I was ready to go. I'd come to get him and we would leave. I watched him run into the woods. The trees covering him as he got deeper and deeper. The sun was going down and it made the leafs of the trees look red and sharp. I went back to where
I had stashed my stuff ad then walked back to the woods. By then the sun had gone down. The woods were dark and the only light was from the moon making everything white and pale.

There's something about the woods when it's dark. I don't think there's a place that's darker then that. You can barely see anything in the woods when it's light out, so in the dark it's like making your way through some long, endless tunnel. You don't know where you're going, you don't know when it will end, and every noise seems loud and angry.

Then I tripped over something. Something soft and wet. I dug my fingers into the ground to try to push myself up. When I stood up I looked at my hands the light from the moon showed them covered in something thick and pink. It was under my nails and when I turned I saw what I had stepped over.

Think back, I barfed a lot more then I do now.

I looked for other parts of Warrner after that. I guess I had the weird idea that I would bury him or burn the body or something. I did find many others and after a while I couldn't take it. After that I left the woods and moved on.

All this stuff has made me pretty OCD (as you can probabaly see from the fact I can't spell out number's names or anything. It's ridiculous) and unsure of what I'm doing. I don't know if any of the stuff I post will help anybody else or is even right. I thought the woods were safe and Warrner died, so what the fuck do I know? But I do know what keeps me alive and what has helped other people in the past.

So I guess the prospect of helping people and giving information that may be useless to keeping them alive is a lot better then doing nothing because you're afraid it may back fire.

At least that's what I'd like to think.

- M

Sunday, July 4, 2010


I've started commenting on other Slenderman type blogs. Not very many, just some that I think may be real and look like they really need help. I doubt that the people who write them will read any of them, or that they're even real people being followed by Slenderman, but still, I feel like I should say something. Not everybody will find this blog, or take the time to read it. I feel the need to give some advice. I'm tired of seeing people die, that's why I started this blog! I feel like something is shifting about all this, people are starting to take control (by the way have any of you seen what's happening with that Zeke guy who's the detective? So fucking badass! I don't care if it is fake, I just want to read a story where somebody shoots Slenderman. Him asking for the other blogs and stuff! Research finally people doing research! And him commenting on that girl's blog? She seems like somebody who is outliving Slenderman somehow, so I'd love to see them team up! She's a pouty high schooler who loves colours, he's a snarky detective who's lost his kind-of girlfriend, together they fight the ultimate evil! Block buster fucking movie. Watching this shit is pretty epic, but then it's probably all fake so it's sort of that sick sort of thing where the guy who lost his arm to a shark loves Jaws because he likes seeing the shark get killed).

Sometimes reading all this stuff is a little weird for me. It's like when you have a bad accident, and then watch people having the same accident again and again and again. It makes me remember stuff that I've buried far away in my mind. People loosing people, people being chased away from their homes, all that stuff that I've tried to make myself forget just so I can get to sleep at night. I find that a lot of these people tend to be men who are loosing girls they like.

That doesn't stir stuff up. At all. Yeah.

In any case I've seen a few people ask the same question over and over which is 'Why do people act normal when Slenderman isn't following them and then start to talk in code when they are?'

I feel like this is a 2 part question, the 1st part very simple, the 2nd part a little more complicated.

The 1st part's answer is because stuff is normal before Slenderman is following you. Even if you feel like your life is going out of control and bad stuff is happening to you before, nothing rivals Slenderman following you. You're whole life falls apart in a way you would never think it could when this stuff happens. And before that happens, even as stuff starts to get weird, you're life is still pretty normal. A weird feeling starts to form, but not too bad. Nothing most people can't deal with.

Then it all starts to get a lot shittier.

When Slenderman really starts to follow you, when you see him, you start to lose it. Slenderman is so out of the ordinary, so out of how people are suppose to view the world and what's in it, that seeing something like that (a tall guy with no face, you will, as they say, shit bricks, my friends) that some people lose it at that moment. And that's when Slenderman gets them. When you're trying to place Selnderman in your understanding of the world he takes control. People get hollowed out. He takes control of them, if only for a little while. It's how he interacts with the world. He takes people, he turns them from normal people into his puppets. Doesn't matter if this happens over a period of minutes or months, some people just can't take it.

And he takes them.

But people aren't always as cool with that as others. They try to fight him off, or a part of them that's still them does. Some people are only susceptible to it when they sleep they're so strong, but some people only have small pieces of themselves that are still them. And those people are pissed off.

Pissed off at Him.

As you would be at any being that's trying to take over your brain and make you into a meat puppet.

And that's where the codes come in. Our brains start to kick in, know they need to protect themselves and the messages they send to the people they want to save. They makes things into code so that He won't know, so that only them and the people who they're sending it to can read it. This sometimes backfires, as these people are already pretty far gone and the codes don't make much sense. It's easy to get frustrated with this shit. Even I do sometimes. I wish they could gather they're thoughts together the way they do with the none important stuff, but they can't and their brain takes over and make all this stuff complex so that it doesn't get found out.

It's easier to just say 'Go up high to the tower I made for you to live in until you get your shit together, it's safe there, here's where it is', but it's also a lot easier for Him to find you then.

They have to choose what is right and what is easy. And they, or the part of them that's still there, chooses what's right.

That's right I quoted Harry Potter!

I'm not all living on the streets and running from evil beings that are the embodiment of all we fear.

Ok you guys, the place I'm at has played the same Katy Perry song about 100 times now so I think it's time to leave. Will post tomorrow if I can. Things have been busy over here. Like I said something is happening and He knows. I have to be on my guard. I may post my email here if anybody needs me, or maybe my P.O. Box. For now I have to go before bad pop music hollows out my brain worse then Slenderman ever could.

- M