Fish

Elizabeth is gone. I realized what had happened a few hours after she posted about going down stairs and tried to go to where she was. I was on a roof and went down to the hallway of the building and I saw Him. He was standing there in front of me, just watching with His blank face. I stared back and I had a moment where I thought about closing my eyes and letting Him do whatever He was going to do. Then I had a sort of odd feeling. Like everything was shifting, and His head sort of tilted and He disappeared. I got moving after that and went back up to the roof and stayed there until morning. I went down and walked to where she had said she was. The diner she talked about was there and I went up to what I was pretty sure was where she was. I didn't find anything there, so I think that somebody else probably took the stuff, but it did look like somebody had been there. It smelled weird there, like ozone and fire. It was a pleasant smell.

After that I wasn't very well for a few days. After loosing Anthony and loosing Elizabeth I was about ready to sit down. I was so tired. I didn't know what to do.

I slept near the park for a few days. By the wall that separates the sidewalk from the trees. I knew it wasn't safe. I drew the operator symbol above me and that was it. Every night I'd look out over the trees and thought about sleeping in 1. I wondered what would happen. I didn't know what to do. I dreamed and all my dreams had a girl's voice talking to me in them. I would be walking down a road and hear the voice and feel like I hadn't walked at all, though the road behind me was long and far away. I didn't see Him. I still don't know why. You'd think that he would have picked me off when I was down below and not keeping my eyes open. I didn't see him, I wasn't moved, I didn't feel anything weird around me. I don't know why that is.

I had a dream on the last day I was there. A dream I remembered and was vivid and felt real like the other 1 I had. I was in the forest again. The mist made it seem gray and green and old. I looked around, wondering what I was doing there. The trees still seemed old and big. Then slowly, out of the trees, children came. They were white and transparent, like ghosts, but more firmly there. It was as if they were made of the mist. Their eyes were a sort of deep blue and they did not blink. They formed a sort of circle around me and looked at me. I starred at them, not feeling fear, or excitement, or much of anything.
'Find safety in the trees,' said 1 in front of me that I think was girl, though it seemed to vibrate against the trees and seem like all of them had said it.
'I don't know what that means!' I said louder then I had thought to.
'Find safety in the trees,' she said again and it echoed across the forest.
'What do you mean?' I asked.
'We are all together,' she said 'Like people. Like trees. Find safety in the trees.'
'The trees are dangerous!' I said and it felt like something was changing, like the wind had picked up except for that everything was blowing away.
'Not His trees,' she said 'the real trees. Find safety in the trees. We are all together. Like people. Like trees.'
Then everything seemed to sort of blow away and fade and she was in front of me, and took my hand. It felt like a jolt went through me, then just a sort of calm, soft joy. She looked up at me with her blue eyes, wide and staring at me with an calm kindness.
'There is a way to be safe,' she said.
Then she let go of my hand and sort of disappeared.

I woke up and it was day time. I pretty much jumped and walked away from the park. I walked away and tried to figure out what the dream could have meant. After a while I went to a store and checked my email.

Remember when I said I got an email from the guy with the just another fool email? I don't know if he's real or not. He sent me this:


'I saw him today
He didn't hurt me
I looked at him, and I saw not a monster, not a demon
But God
I realize now I was wrong to fear him
He was only watching over me, my angel
The flesh of fallen angels
My body no longer belongs to me, just as I deserve
It belongs to him, my God, my savior, my protector
I can help him
I can help him destroy those who would stand against him, and rally others
We can create paradise together
Just as you say, some may not be real
It will not matter
In time
You, the teacher
The strong man
The flood
She has dyed her hair red
And others
Perhaps
I cannot pretend to understand his infinite wisdom and grace
He does not speak to me
I am not worthy to hear his chorus
But I understand
I will help him
And I will begin
With
You'

It's a lovely poem really.

As you could probably already guess I was pretty pissed off to read this. I had lost 2 people I had tried to help in less then a month, 1 who was a friend, and now some guy with a just another fool email was sending me fucked up poems. I was pissed off and I sent back a pretty threatening email, but even afterwards I was still angry. How dare he threaten the people around me, or anybody who is already dealing with all this in general, or the people who were connected to them. It made me realize something. Even if I do not save somebody, even if I don't know how to fight Slenderman and only how to get away from Him, and even if I can't get everybody to team up or even team up if somebody wanted me to, I can still try to save people. With the blog, and by giving people information, and answering questions and doing whatever I can. I just need to keep going. We all just need to keep going. Because if we don't, then all the people who write crazy emails win.

No lesson again in this entry. sorry guys. I guess that's what loosing 2 people in less then a month does to you. I'll do 1 soon though. In any case I drew this on the building I slept on last night as a sort of memorial. I don't usually do that kind of stuff but still. As always, though I doubt there will be this time, leave questions or anything in the comments and email if you need anything.

- M