It's not a Tardis

Haven't been able to get online much recently. He showed up every day for past 10 days or so and it's been awful and it's sort of hard to go to an Apple store when you're constantly being followed by a guy with no face. I didn't sleep much, and when I did I only dreamed about the voice of a girl and dark tunnels and trees (but not the kind that talk, the kind that attack me). I use to never dream and now I do every time I sleep in an odd sort of almost awake way. My eyes don't seem closed, but when I wake up they open and I feel like I haven't slept at all, or I've slept for so long when really it's only been an hour or 2. Luckily the past few days have been better. I saw Him less, and then haven't seen Him all day. I think I stayed in the same places too long. Now I'm in a place right next to FAO and an Apple store, so it's pretty sweet. A little busy for me, but that's ok.

In any case seeing Him constantly and having to figure out how to run made me realize I've never talked about how Slenderman moves. I've actually been asked this a few times, mostly in relation to Him moving you, and the answer is I'm not sure. Slenderman shouldn't be in our world, so it would make sense He doesn't move like us. When He moves you certainly don't move through space like you normally do, and he seems to pop up everywhere like a mother fucker but how? The answer is I'm not sure. I don't think anybody really is. The people who get moved by him rarely remember it and it's not like you can fucking ask him.

Unless you could. Conversations with Slenderman (Shaun I swear to god if you try to make this your next experiment I will knock your teeth out).

Oprah could do it.

James use to have a theory about it. 1 day we were sitting around in a house we had broken into (like you do), and talking about being moved. James had been moved recently and had taken an interest in it. I asked him what it was like to be teleported, if he remembered. He said 'Slenderman doesn't teleport. That's just how He moves.'

He said that Slenderman, because He's not suppose to be here, does live on the same space time plane as us. He's in a different sort of mathematical reality, so His perception and way of interacting with space and time are different. Basically Slenderman isn't teleporting from room to room, it's all the same to him. Going from 1 town to another is like walking into another room for Him. James thought that maybe when He touched you it messed up your own space time line and made you like Him, unstuck from time, and you could move around like Slenderman as long as He was touching you. That's why it's so painful when He touches you, because we're not suppose to be in reality like that.

We need space and time to live. Without it we can't even picture the universe. That's why when Slenderman touches us, it hurts, because the universe doesn't work the same way around Him and our bodies don't like that.

This isn't to say that Slenderman can be in 2 places at 1 time. If Slenderman is in your room He's not also attacking your buddy across the street. It's just that you need to walk with both space and time and Slenderman sometimes only walks with space.

Then James went back to reading Calvin and Hobbes and I thought about how bad I was at math.

I don't know if all that's true, but I do think Slenderman travels differently in time then us, and I don't think it's quite teleporting. Slenderman can go from 1 place to the next, but sometimes I feel like He's no where in our world at all. Not that He goes to another planet or something, but just not here. I didn't get enough of the math stuff James showed me to know if the stuff he said made sense, but I do think that Slenderman probably has a different perception of space in that sort of way.

As for all the time travel bullshit I don't know if I buy it. I get loosing time, but I don't know if I believe that people are going to sleep on Saturday and waking up on Friday. Being moved fucks with your brain and I think it's just people getting confused. Also it's hard to keep the date right when on the run. 1 time I knew somebody who thought they were being moved in time, but really was just writing the date wrong in their notebook because they had 2 calendars that said different things and kept switching off checking them each day. I've never known anybody who's actually time traveled, and I really don't think He can push you back and forth through time.

Also I think people think He's teleporting because he just sort of appears. But you never really see Slenderman appear like out of nowhere, He's just sort of there, like He stepped into another room. It's always slightly hard to look at Him and I think that's just because the way He's moving through time is hurting it and wrong and it's hard to look at for humans.

Also the fact He has no face and is coming to kill you doesn't help.

I think James went to sea because he was tired of being moved. It happened to him a lot, and I think he just wanted to stop that. I checked his notebook 1 time and it was full of math notes about how to stick himself in space and time. I think that's why he decided to get on a boat and never come back if it would never happen to him again.

That's why he left the land.

All this stuff is hard to say for sure, but I'll just tell you guys watch out because He is fast and is not moving the way we are. People tend to think Slenderman is slow because He's s slow walker, but it's not true. If you ever come up against Him in that way and can't get to a high spot or draw a symbol the best bet is to look at Him and slowly back away. People try to run and it doesn't work, he'll just get you when you have your back turned. It's not like if you blink He'll get you, He's not a fucking weeping angel, but you do have to look straight on and not stop until you're away. Even if it hurts. And if He hasn't seen you yet don't run, it just attracts His attention.

Short lesson today, but an important 1. I got some interesting emails, so I'll share those next time. Right now I have to get the fuck out of this Apple store. People keep asking me if I need help and I keep having to meet their icey gazes when I was no. Sorry, Apple, I was always a Dell guy. It runs Linux better. As always leave questions in the comments and keep emailing.

- M