It almost felt normal.
Except for, you know, the whole constantly look behind me for evil beings and having no friends because they died and stuff.
Jeez, M, had to bring that up didn't you? Just enjoy your fucking $8 coffee and stop bitching.
The other thing I realized today is that people are actually watching this blog now. I have to say, I made this blog so that it would be watched and read, but when I saw that I almost deleted the whole thing. Because that's when I realized something.
What if I infect somebody and pass Slenderman onto them through this blog?
I made this blog mostly for people who are already being followed by Him and are trying to survive, but of course people who aren't are going to find it and read it just for fun (which is kind of weird for me on a whole different level, but even so, it will happen). And what if they start to be followed by Him afterwards? Their blood is on my hands! Even if they do follow the rules, their lives will probably be ruined because of it! All because of me and this blog!
And then that fucking Katy Perry song came on. And a small voice in my head said 'Don't be so full of yourself, asshole.'
And I guess that's true. Most people will already know about Slenderman who find this blog and those people need help. I'd rather risk a few people reading this and thinking it's just some kid's stupid writing project, and help a bunch of people, or even just a few, instead of just deleting it all. Also I sometimes feel like I'll go insane if I don't write in this thing. It's hard to walk around with all this and not let any of it out because most people you meet on the street don't know about this stuff and you could infect (I hate using that word because it sounds like I have plague or something, but I can't really think of a better word for it) them.
And it has happened before. I only slipped 1 time! But it lost me a really good friend. It was all my fault. All because of my big mouth. All because I couldn't keep it all inside.
This was when I was 1st on the road. I was pretty shaken up by everything that had happened and not too far away from where I had lived before. I slept under trees because I couldn't find anywhere high up. I rested most of the time. I didn't go very far. I wasn't very good at following the rules. I think a part of me wanted Him to get me. I wanted to see my brother, even that meant going wherever he had gone.
I was kind of dumb back then.
I stopped in a town and started to hang out around there. I slept on benches and didn't really talk to anybody. Then 1 day a boy from the high school saw me sitting on 1 of the benches and came over and started talking to me. I think he thought I was some homeless junky kid who he could help and take home and give a bath to and stuff. He looked like it. Messy hair, big glasses, a little small, that kind of kid.
Actually a little bit like my brother now that I think about it.
His name was Warrner. Every time we talked he would try to get me to go home with him and I would say no and pretend I was asleep and or something. We would talk about his day at school, or whatever he had seen on TV or video games he was playing and I had played before. He was really into classical music and sometimes he would drag me to music stores and play piano and I would sit there and be bored(like I said, he was that kind of kid. And I was, again, kind of dumb).
It was nice, and I thought for a while that maybe things could go back to normal. I could live in that town and be the lovable hobo, and maybe 1 day actually go to Warrner's house and live there and go back to school and be normal and get a job.
And then I did go to Warrner's house.
It was raining and he was sitting at the bench with a big umbrella. I liked the rain, it was good to get some of the grime off my face and clothes. He looked cold though and kept tipping the umbrella so that the rain would hit him and make his hair wet and flop into his eyes. After a wile I got tired of seeing him get soaked and pretend he didn't notice, so I suggested we go to his house. He seemed so happy that I wanted to go. I think he thought that if he just got me into the house then I would never leave and that I would live with him and go to school and all that stuff. We got to his house. He gave me dry clothes, something to drink, and we sat on his bed.
And then he asked me why I slept on the street.
And then I told him everything.
Everything came pouring out. Slenderman, how I found him, what happened to my brother, all of it. By the end I think he thought I was crazy. He was pretty freaked out. I got my clothes and left. I thought I would never see him again.
And I didn't for a few days.
But then he came to see me again. He looked terrible. His eyes had deep bruises underneath them like he hadn't slept in days, his clothes were dirty, he was twitchy and couldn't sit still for long and after a while dragged me back to his house and pulled me around to the back.
"It's all true," he said, picking at the white paint on the back of the house "everything you said. I saw him! In the woods. I haven't slept or else he comes. Last night I woke up after falling asleep by mistake and he was there and I had to run! I barely got out of my house. I ran into the woods. That's what you said was good right? The woods?"
Did I mention I thought the woods were safe when I 1st started out? Did i mention I was really stupid back then?
I told him to hide in the woods until I was ready to go. I'd come to get him and we would leave. I watched him run into the woods. The trees covering him as he got deeper and deeper. The sun was going down and it made the leafs of the trees look red and sharp. I went back to where
I had stashed my stuff ad then walked back to the woods. By then the sun had gone down. The woods were dark and the only light was from the moon making everything white and pale.
There's something about the woods when it's dark. I don't think there's a place that's darker then that. You can barely see anything in the woods when it's light out, so in the dark it's like making your way through some long, endless tunnel. You don't know where you're going, you don't know when it will end, and every noise seems loud and angry.
Then I tripped over something. Something soft and wet. I dug my fingers into the ground to try to push myself up. When I stood up I looked at my hands the light from the moon showed them covered in something thick and pink. It was under my nails and when I turned I saw what I had stepped over.
Think back, I barfed a lot more then I do now.
I looked for other parts of Warrner after that. I guess I had the weird idea that I would bury him or burn the body or something. I did find many others and after a while I couldn't take it. After that I left the woods and moved on.
All this stuff has made me pretty OCD (as you can probabaly see from the fact I can't spell out number's names or anything. It's ridiculous) and unsure of what I'm doing. I don't know if any of the stuff I post will help anybody else or is even right. I thought the woods were safe and Warrner died, so what the fuck do I know? But I do know what keeps me alive and what has helped other people in the past.
So I guess the prospect of helping people and giving information that may be useless to keeping them alive is a lot better then doing nothing because you're afraid it may back fire.
At least that's what I'd like to think.